Loneliness

The importance of loneliness. A story from the zen monastery. Whether they want to or not, zen monks live apart from their families and hometowns. Their memories are vivid, though, because zen monks are humans too. While they are more strong-willed than other people, they can be very sensitive at the same time.

We had a day off from zen practice. Darkness fell and I felt very empty. I felt the same way yesterday. I'm lonely to the bone. My worldly attachment that had been dormant deep within me suddenly arose. Whenever this happens, the only solution is to be more faithful to my holy question. This is why a zen monk needs to be alone.

A Practitioner should remain alone to win the battle with himself, which in itself is a difficult enough task. It is the starkest loneliness! Yet it is the will of a zen monk to pursue liberation in his profound loneliness. My sacred question inches ahead like a turtle while time sprints like a hare. I can not abandon my question for a moment!

Zen monks are blamed for being stubborn, egoistic and self-righteous. I don't think this as criticism; it is true and it is how zen monks should be.

Unless your are free from attachment, you can not be liberated from rebirth. A zen monk without attachment to self is like a zen monk without a sacred question. As long as you remain a zen monk and seek Enlightenment, you must strengthen yourself and be faithful to it.

"We've gotten a year older."

"That is true."

"I fell backwards in my zen practice last year. I'd be happy if I don't fall back again this year. But I'm not very confident about that."

"It is difficult work. Ordinary people get poorer as they get older and zen monks who don't make effort become lazier and more hypocritical the longer they keep eating temple food. If we can't make progress, we should at least try hard to stay where we are."